Scalia in Dissenting Opinion: “GAAAAYYYYYYY”

While reading his dissenting opinion in the Supreme Court’s ruling that denial of federal benefits to married same-sex couples is unconstitutional, Scalia loudly shouted that the whole ordeal was “GAAAAAY.” “Hah!” reported Scalia. “GAAAAAYYYYY!” Going on to break traditional decorum in an especially unconventional way, Scalia interrupted Justice Anthony Kennedy’s reading of his majority opinion by interjecting, “GAY!  GAY GAY GAYYYYYY!  SO GAY!” Added Scalia, “So ghey.” Breaking weeks of silence, Justice Clarence Thomas even chimed in as well. “Haha,” said Thomas. “Yeah, pretty gay.” In other news, Texas legislators have all agreed to reset their clocks, which, having not been calibrated for some time, tell the lawmakers it’s still 1953.